Some Super Short Stories:

Lesser Known World Records-

Upon achieving his life long dream of breaking the lesser known Guinness World record for the  largest snot bubble produced from the left nostril, Dick Lowmen, age 68, decided it was high time he set his dreams even higher. During a press conference, Dick Lowmen exclaimed, “Next Week, I… Dick Lowmen…” He paused for effect and raised his pointer finger to an uneffected crowd. Gathering himself, he barreled forward, “…by using my giant-snot-bubble making abilities will…” He paused again, hoping the effect he had intended mere seconds ago would suddenly occur. When it did not he finished speaking, “…float down from a hot air ballon ten thousand feet in the air.” Everyone in attendance wasn’t very found of Dick to begin with; and knowing this feat was impossible, the crowd (much to Dick’s excitement) cheered and encouraged him to give it a shot. Yet by the time next week rolled around, to everyone’s dismay,  Dick Lowmen landed safely in the ground, snot bubble intact.

The Dentist-

Yanitz Grabinski sat in the waiting room of his dentist office. His tooth throbbed in pain as it had for days. Perturbed and irritated at the length of the wait, he began to twiddle his thumbs. Impatiently staring at the various walls, his eyes panned over each painting adorning the otherwise bland walls. Deciding the paintings had a similar effect on him as the music in the elevator on the way to his cubical; Yanitz began staring down at his feet. Abruptly, the receptionist blew a pink bubble of chewing gum swelling as a mother’s pregnant belly would during a time-lapse photography session. The bloated bubble popped suddenly spilling forth the words, “Dr. Phillum will see you now.” In the exact same moment she rolled her eyes as if she too were exacerbated at the length of the wait. Impressed with her multi-tasking skills, Yanitz waltzed through the door into the back. Soon enough, Dr. Phillum explained to Yantiz that he would need to administer anesthesia during the treatment required to fix his tooth. Later that day Yantiz shot awake confused in a bathtub filled with ice. Not only did his tooth still hurt, but so did an incision on his side which appeared to be sutured by a blind child. Yantiz swore that would be the last time he saw a dentist!

Dangers Of Fabric- 

Patricia Fawn, a well known seamstress in the foothills of Pensacola Michigan, made her way, down a bustling main street, to the local fabric store one bright, spring afternoon. After Patricia purchased the fabric for a new dress, she walked out of the store and back down the way she came. It had rained the evening before and the old dirt road was now composed entirely of thick brown mud. Precipitously falling, her shoe slipped deep down into the mud. Folks gasped as she rolled back and forth on the ground, wrapping herself in the fabric she had just purchased. As her body wriggled to and fro in the mud like a sow in heat, the onlookers quickly returned to their daily business nodding and saying something along the lines of, “It finally happened, Patricia Fawn has lost her marbles.”